Make No Mean No
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Now, this is a popular topic with kids usually the common theme is usually they ‘need to learn’ that no does indeed mean no. What about your or your mates family? What if grandma is the one who can’t take no for an answer?
There are a lot of types of grandma and grampas (and other family) and how they act when baby arrives, some can be absolutely fantastic some can be more trouble than they are worth, and some just can’t seem to be bothered.
What can you do?
Now, I am by far an expert on dealing with all the different personality types of people. I’m not a therapist, nor do I play one on tv. These are just some things I’ve picked up after having a couple of problems with family (and many, many misunderstandings) that I’ve found to help.
I can’t be bothered type:
You can’t change someone who really can’t be bothered. Sometimes however, they aren’t avoiding they just don’t want to intrude (even if they aren’t intruding). Sometimes a simple heart to heart will help. Let them know that you do want them involved. What if they still don’t put any effort out, and are still avoiding you and your child?
Unfortunately there’s not much that can be done, you can’t force a relationship. If you try to force one, you might just wind up with more hurt feelings.
Pushy, pushy, pushy type:
If you have the super pushy type of family members (or at least one or two like I do) establishing boundaries early and often (well, as necessary) is important. Sometimes they will learn right off the bat after talking to them some won’t no matter what you do.
Some people just cannot grasp boundaries. They will do anything from liberties with your children, to barging in whenever the mood strikes.
Aside from changing the locks and moving to another country set up boundaries firmly (after a sit down). Don’t be mean, or rude about it, that won’t accomplish much. Sometimes people just aren’t aware they are crossing any boundaries, they may come from a family that is very liberal with everything.
Sometimes however, they are doing it to push buttons. In these cases treat them as if they were a child doing the same exact thing. Worst case scenario, time outs. Now, I know how harsh that sounds, but a simple time out (avoiding the person like the plague) can actually do wonders for a bit. They might have a bit of a temper tantrum over it, just ignore it at all costs.
Passive agressive, nothing you do is right type.
Ahh the sarcastic ones, the people who couldn’t give a compliment to save their lives. Unless of course it’s tinged with a happy little helping of backhanded compliments. Fun.
This type although possibly the most annoying, the method can be rather easy. Kill them with kindness (and have a rant fest with friends after). No matter what, don’t sink to their level. It’s what they want, they are trying to get under your skin, do not engage them.
Ignore all the negative.
Does anyone have any other advice on dealing with nutty family members? Add it to the comments!
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