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When single parents remarry it can be hard on children.  At times, it doesn’t necessarily matter if the child is familiar with the soon to be spouse, it signifies that the end to any hope the child may have had of their parents getting back together is officially at an end. 

While some are lucky in that their children don’t remember their parents as a ‘couple’ many more do, and while there may be some issues when navigating these waters, it can be done.

Understanding where your child may be coming from is important.  While the differences between a child who never knew their parents together and one who had are apparent, the overall feelings involved may be the same.  A parent’s remarriage signifies an end to something that was familiar and comfortable.  The parent/ child relationship will change.  It’s a hard thing to avoid, but reassuring your child that they are loved will help.

There is also a potential for a negative reaction if your child was hoping that both parents would one day reconnect.  Talking to your child and reassuring then that both parents still have more than enough love to give can also help the transition.

While there are still many potential obstacles, overall most problems may be helped with some understanding and talking.  Being open and honest, while still age appropriate may really help out in large amounts.  It may be a difficult transition, but far from impossible.

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Men and women have a different style of communication.  While this is a undoubtedly generalized sentence, in many instances it is true.  Due to the same different communication styles, problems can easily arise.

This can leave many quite confused about why exactly they are fighting.

One of the main differences can arise from a woman’s method of talking about the problem.  While this isn’t an issue in and of itself (after all, it’s a good way to think through the issue at hand) the problem can arise from the man’s communication style.  Generally speaking, men talk about problems and offer solutions.  When someone is talking about their issue, many men want to offer a solution to fix the issue at hand.

It can also be misinterpreted as being condescending if a woman is to state an issue without any intent behind it, it can be misinterpreted by someone as assigning blame.  Yet, it is a communication style of women (myself included) to simply state the problem and any issues that may arise out of it.

• While every couple is different (as are the individuals involved) try taking a step back and think before you react.
• Communication is important in every relationship, and to communicate effectively both partners in the parenting situation have to be on the same page.
• Try not to over analyze the things your partner says, and be honest with your feelings.
• Chances are: your partner is not psychic so you will have to tell them exactly what you want.

If you have a suggestion that works in your relationship with your co-parent, feel free to post it in the comments!

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She’s (or he) is everything you have always dreamed of- funny, smart, a fantastic listener.  The only thing is, they have children.  Could this ever work out?  What should you do?

First off, dating a single parent is a lot different (in many cases) than dating someone without children attached.  You as the potential girlfriend or boyfriend do have to understand some things will be different, but there’s no reason it can’t work out.

As a single mom myself, I’ve come across some people who didn’t understand a few of the things below.  It’s a good and early sign that the future with these people just wasn’t feasible, and that everyone involved was in for a very bad time.  Yet there are people out there that will understand and will make a great match (if you are reading this looking for advice, that’s a great sign right off the bat).

The ‘rules’ below are in no particular order, and may not apply to everyone.  This is just a general guide for dating a single parent, and if you are in doubt about something- ask them!

• Drop the drama.  It’s a good sign that this person has been in a relationship before considering they have a child.  If you are planning on playing games, better off not bothering.
• Don’t assume they are looking for a mother/father for their children.  This is where many people seem to misunderstand.  More than likely your potential sweetie isn’t looking for a stand in father or mother.  It’s a good way to poison things right off the bat if you start acting that way.
• Point blank, you aren’t the children’s mother or father.  Sure things may work out for the long term and you will be the step parent, until then respect your position.
• Don’t discipline their kids.  Point blank: Don’t Do It.
• Respect the ex.  Don’t badmouth the children’s other parent especially in front of the children.  You still have to respect the fact that they are in their children’s lives.  You don’t have to be best friends, just give them basic human respect.  Jealousy, insults, and all that has no place in that dynamic.
• You won’t be number one.  The children come first, no matter what.
• Don’t tell them how to raise their kids.  Generally speaking, they know what they are doing.

While things may work differently, these are the things that a few parents have wished that potential partners knew.  There isn’t any reason that the two of you can’t work it out and be happy.

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