It seems as though as soon as a baby is born, the parents start looking for them to achieve milestones. First we want them to hold their head up, then we want them to roll over and then we start thinking about crawling and walking.

The rolling over milestone is really the first big movement that a baby will make on their own. With my second child, I was just as happy about her rolling over as I was with my first. I still called everyone I knew and applauded my baby as though she had just discovered electricity. Why do we get so excited? Well, it’s partly because it’s the first time that a baby is showing us that she’s well on her way to independence. First she’ll roll over and before you know it, she’ll be helping you make dinner. But there’s another reason. New parents are bombarded with what their child should be doing, milestones they should be reaching, when they should be reaching them, and how to help them achieve these great feats.

This can be a little overwhelming for parents that are sleep-deprived and already have too much to do. Worrying that our baby didn’t roll over the day she turned three months old can be one stress that we just don’t need. It’s easy to look at the ages for milestones and tell yourself logically that they are just guidelines. There’s really no need to worry unless your baby is continually missing milestones or seems to always be much slower than where the doctors and books say they should be.

But it’s important to not just tell ourselves these things but to actually believe them. These days are for bonding with your baby and to enjoy having them as the newest part of our family. Remember that they are just guidelines and if something is really wrong, the parent voice inside your head will nine times out of ten, let you know.

[tags]new_parents, milestones, milestone, electricity, doctors, stress, sleep[/tags]

There’s been a debate going on regarding a new method for handling babies when they cry. This new method suggests letting the baby cry it out, instead of parents or caregivers picking them up and attending to them. This supposedly does away with babies growing up to be fussy and dependent. The method teaches them early on to rely on themselves and learn to deal with situations at hand.

But…that’s just it. Babies aren’t capable of learning to deal with things like this. They certainly don’t recognize and understand the meaning of frustration. Crying for babies is a way of communicating. Disregarding this or ignoring this is, to me, being insensitive to their needs, when parents have to be nurturing and observant of this.

I’ve heard people say to new parents to let the baby be and cry it out because crying is good for the lungs. It helps it develop stronger. But this perception is more of a folklore than an actual scientific method that proves it is effective.

Crying is distressing…whether you’re an adult or a baby. To let the young ones cry it out adds a lot to stress, which babies don’t really need to feel, right? Mothers are biologically built to respond to this as soon as they hear the baby crying. It takes time, but eventually Mothers will learn to respond to different cries appropriately….it’s one of the ways they get to know their babies behavior and tendencies.

What do you think of this method?

Raising a toddler is tough. But raising two kids (or more) whose ages are so close to each other can drive any parent crazy. You hear most parents say how much their house is a zoo, and you should actually believe that. I have a friend who has kids ranging from 9, 7, 4 and one who just turned a year old, and looking at her juggle through this kids and all their issues is exhausting.

But, there is an upside to this according to the New York Times. Siblings whose age are close to each other grow up really close and bond really well. As kids, they pretty much fight often and have an all-out war. But as adults they way better relationships, they are each other’s best friend. And as far as families go these days, it’s always wonderful to learn that there are still those who keep stronger bonds. Siblings who grew up together have this.

I grew up with a brother who is years younger than I am and our bonding is very different. We hardly have a bonding time, in fact. Which makes me envious of this when I see the relationship of my friends and their siblings.

So, parents with little kids in the house…

As much as you want to pull all of your hair out and you beat yourself with stress trying to referee these siblings when they fight, just learn to appreciate the moment. And learn to appreciate what is there. For there is going to be a huge pay-off later.

Going away on a vacation is already stressful enough with kids around, can you imagine the amount of stress traveling during holiday festivities (like Thanksgiving) this would entail?

As with anything, preparation is the key to avoid feeling tense and pressured. Here are a couple of things to remember when you are traveling with kids this Thanksgiving:

1. Avoid Wednesday travels. That’s what most people will be doing. If your kids are already in school, you can probably ask them to be excused and travel on a Monday or Tuesday. This is especially helpful if you are traveling far, visiting relatives two states away.

2. If you are driving a car, make sure that the car works in perfect condition before you drive this around with your kids. Pack the car with stuff you know your kids will want to have like a pillow or some toys to keep them preoccupied. Other parents bring portable devices, which should be great too. Know where you are passing by and make sure to stop and let the kids use the facilities (like going to the bathroom).

3. If you are traveling via plane, prepare your kids’ stuff ahead of time. Since Thanksgiving is a shorter holiday, you only have to pack the essentials. Get there ahead of time at the airport, because this will surely be packed with other people.

4. Bring all the necessary gadgets and its chargers….these days it is really essential as you can look up for directions and weather or traffic advises using your mobile phone, thus avoiding delays your kids will surely be bored by. And then you can re-plan the trip accordingly from there.

Image via Wikipedia

Life as a parent can be difficult, from the sheer stress and anxiety that seems to just come with the territory to sleepless nights.  While those problems can really go hand in hand, it won’t last forever.  Even if mom is breastfeeding, having someone help out isn’t out of the question.  While it may be hard, there is no shame in asking for some help.

While it may feel impossible to ask for help from family, more than likely they would be absolutely thrilled to help you.  It’s a rough road as anyone who has had children knows, especially in those first months.  It can all seem overwhelming, and during that first adjustment period it seems downright impossible at first.

When many new parents are stressed out, they may actually feel outright ashamed of it.  After all, this is their child, they wonder quite often why caring for their baby may seems so hard.  There may even be a time when they feel horrible for feeling stressed out- don’t worry- it doesn’t last forever.  At first having a new baby to take care of is hard, it’s one of the hardest things to do.

The first step is to recognize that you are stressed out. If you are feeling angry, frustrated, and upset are both normal and signs that you are indeed stressed out.  How you handle and cope is an important thing to think about.  Taking a few moments to yourself may help, or even taking a date night with your partner.  If you have friends or family that have a child in a similar age-range you can organize a baby-sitting day schedule and take turns watching the children while you shop or just rest.  Not only will these potentially help mom and dad, it can help baby as well.

Recommended:

The Anecdote of Separation
Honeycomb Lamp